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Proguessing

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Sep. 30th, 2016 | 05:44 pm
location: Raleigh, NC
music: Metallica - Small Hours (Holocaust cover)

Rehab on my hips and back is over. I've completed the four-week program after a week off in the wake of my ligament/muscle pull. Starting Monday, I begin the very slowly climb back up to full strength. How slow? I don't expect to return to true, full intensity and form until the end of February. Why so long?

Principally because I want to be damn sure I heal this thing. Right now, my hip is mostly fine except at extreme ranges of motion and/or movement. I had to jog across the street getting to work today and it reminded me it is NOT 100%.
The other reason is to dial in on some training details. It's real easy to say 'that's adequate' in the wake of choosing between higher intensity or remaining where you are, especially if you've set a schedule for yourself. Also, you learn things at higher weight that necessitate downgrading considerably to remedy or better implement. So I'm deliberately drawing out this process to refine my technique. And, you know, make sure my hip injury becomes a past-tense thing and not 'my bad hip'.

I'm taking part in Inktober...for some reason. It's basically NaNoWriMo, but for drawing. You draw a complete drawing every day for 31 days. I have low expectations for myself. I'm mostly wanting to complete the process. Studying anatomy pretty much exclusively does not make for impressive art. :P

I'm getting a lot of mixed messages from my kung fu school about my blue belt (the test where I was injured). The head master, who will be in town to proctor a black belt test (and who is a card-carrying sadist), wants me to test with him at the black belt test. The head instructor wants to just slap the belt on me after some intense sparring because even on a busted hip, I completed the test (sans sparring and rolling). And since I've proven time and again I can fight like a rabid wolverine, most everybody treats the promotion as a formality. Which is flattering, but also a little anti-climactic. I don't want to be 'handed' anything.
That said, of these two options, I can't decide which one I would prefer.

Things at home continue to be unsatisfying. Beth's prognosis has not improved because no test has come back positive, leading her chronic pain and debilitating gastrointestinal problems to be even more of a mystery. Her GP (understandably) didn't want to make a referral until she had some indication of what the problem could be. At this point, though, she's about exhausted all the options for tests and has finally referred Beth.
Our relationship still sucks, though. We're talking about it a bit more, a bit better, but we're mostly just acknowledging how staggeringly unhappy, unfulfilled, and disappointed I am. I've tried to be very subtle and very tactful in warning Beth that I may leave. I can't abide abandoning someone in need, especially if it's only partially their fault. But I also can't stand the idea of spending the rest of my life as a nurse and a maid to someone who seems constitutionally incapable of reciprocating in any meaningful way.

Two books are in development, which has amazed and delighted me. I was writing my publisher off and things started moving again. One may possibly see release before the end of the year.

Estoy Aprendiendo Espanol.

I contested NC State's charges against me. If they rule in my favor, I won't have to pay for my 2000-2001 tuition for a second time. If they decide the charges stand, they get my tuition all over again, plus interest. Worse, before I contested, I was passed the 7-year statute of limitations they had for sending the bill to collections, leaving their only option with garnishing my state income tax. Having contested it, that 7-year clock starts all over again so if they do rule against me and I refuse to pay (again), they can send the charge to collections this time. As if student loan debt and credit card debt wasn't enough.

The nervous system functions almost identically to the circulatory system. The afferent nerves communicate sensory information back to the CNS (akin to the veins bringing de-oxygenated blood back to the heart and lungs) and the efferent nerves transmit muscle commands (a la the arteries taking oxygenated blood to the tissues). There are even parallels between lymph nodes and the ganglia.
For some reason, this realization, the commonalities between the nervous system and the lympho-cardiovascular system, really depresses me.

I'm about half to two-thirds of the way through a book that will never get released. It's purely for my own enjoyment. I may publish it online under a pseudonym. But it frustrates me that I'm so thoroughly enjoying work that has no professional benefit. And I've got professional work waiting, and actually kind of pressing to get done.

The more I see, the more I lear, the more I know, the more powerless I feel.

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